The Reality of Being My Child's Role Model

I think that one of the biggest challenges in this life or in the responsibilities that we have been given by God, is being a parent. Today I will be sharing my own experience. Now and then we will have something "wise" to say or advice, but walking in the same manner is really not an easy task. Picking up from the famous proverb on parenting, "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it" Proverbs 22:6. We probably already know that training is not just telling them what to do and disciplining them when they do not, but a big part of it also has to do with our actions. This has particularly been made clear when I watch my 2yrs 9mnths old child. 

For the past year, I have watched her imitate almost everything she sees and hears; and not just from me but from everyone that catches her eye. She will imitate the folding and unfolding of hands by a person at the bus station; when someone is supporting themselves by the chair in the bus; when my dad holds his food with one hand when they are eating; repeat something someone has said, basically everything. Most times it's really just entertaining. However, sometimes it is a reflection of the both the positive and negative things that I do or that she has seen. 

Recently we had a correcting experience (this conversation sounds so much better in Swahili) anyway; "baby what did I tell you about pointing your finger at someone" the whole time she was looking at my pointed finger and a hear some mumbling, "wacha kunifanyia kadole" (stop pointing your finger) in a very innocent manner, like kids. So I had to repeat the entire thing, this time with folded fingers and now I have to remind myself this, each time. There is no parent way of acting and another way that is expected of a child.

This morning we had a bit of crushing; I was upset for what I felt was justified; recent cries with reason, yes, but also sometimes just a child fussing. Talk about God's timing. Just then I tuned to the Citam Family Festival aired on Hope TV. The preacher was talking about the importance of being the same person at home, with our friends, at our businesses, et cetera (the one person model), as well as being a role model to our children, based on the principle of MRI ( that is; Model, building a Relationship and being Intentional). As soon as I heard the speaker's topic I knew that I may have overreacted. I apologized to my child (at her age I actually hope she understood), who by the way had already apologized, before I did (humbling). 

Pastor Tanchi mentioned that we should be careful to act or model to our children what we want them to be or even to pick up. Children, as young or old as they are, will be constantly observing our actions and copying what they see. Another significant point that I picked from his teaching is that in his family people are allowed to make mistakes, but they are also expected to apologize, of course willingly. We are not perfect and sometimes as parents we will make mistakes,  but the actions we take consequently matter a lot. 

I may not know what the experience of parents with mature children may be. They probably see the way they act and are reminded of their own actions, which may not have been intentionally picked, but subconsciously adopted. The ways to teach and train a child can also be seen in Deuteronomy 6:6-9 "And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up..."

Meaning that it was supposed to be a way of lifestyle. 

What is your experience as a parent and what tips can you share or if not yet a parent, as a child what has been your experience?

What would  you consider picking up or dropping?

David Adede "Twakutegemea" because we can only achieve all this through the grace of God and the leadership of the Holy Spirit